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Mah fic, edition 1
This is just to put down some of my thinky-thoughts before I spew them all at some unsuspecting commenter and bore them all to hell...
Let's start from the beginning:
En svensk tiger - First Hetalia fic! I don't dare re-read this any more...
My country and my favorite country and a very dark period of history.
I'd like to go back and play with the concept of Sweden & Germany interacting a bit more, but later. Also, I am ashamed of how the WWII period has been treated by Sweden afterwards. Very little admittance of guilt and too glossed over in school, tsk
Drunken romp in the sauna - I first started reading hetalia fic because the hell, my country and Finland having sexxors? Must see! Then I wrote this and then... my interest in the pairing kinda fizzled and died. I think they're just too schmoopy to interest me much. But I do want to see Sweden and Denmark interact, or Finland versus Russia!
More than a brick - I have a HUGE kink for Germany (the RL country) and Berlin in particular. Love the language too, in case that isn't already obvious. So when I discovered Germancest and that I friggin loved Germancest too, I had to write something about this pivotal moment in history. Herein also starts my obsession with the Iron crosses they wear, yeah.
I also still try to write my fics all in english here, which, hahalolz I fail at soon. And, moar pr0n! I don't know what happened when I entered Hetalia fandom, except a couple of years had passed since last writing anything, but damn it was suddenly easy to start writing porn...
Also, this - "Ludwig Beilschmidt" - is a Moment of Deep Symbolism, but I don't think anyone ever got that but me ^^; Instead people picked up on all other things which often made me go "whoa, I wish I was that smart!"
Die Wende - Um. call this "duty fic" because I realized that I couldn't write More than a brick to fit the prompt.
I don't really like it much, because I want Gilbo to stay alive -_- Also, the title is So Uncreative even for my standards.
So, this is probably my least favorite fic (that I have unanoned for *cough*)
New skies... - 1) I hate the title of this fic. Hate.
2) NATIONS IN SPAAAAACE. god knows why I wrote it, because I usually don't read much far-from-canon AU but... it was so fun <3 I'm surprised people actually seemed to enjoy reading it tooyay me I can do funny!!
3) Damn, I should really write the sequel snippet I have in my head
4) This fic here, is where the Awesome!Gilbo plotbunny came and bit me hard because since them he insists on being in everything I write. He was just supposed to be an aside, darnit
The flesh of my brother - Dr. Calvin goes all out and loses several ficwriting virginites at once! this is my first fic of this degree of explicitness, first fic with rimming, first fic where I seriously feared to be flamed for writing pervy incest... Not my first fic with BDSM, no, because I'm a sick little puppy since way back
Also, this fic cemented my deep love for bottom!Prussia. At least with Germany
Biste nicht ganz dicht? - Oh Em Gee. I have never had as much fun writing a fic before or after, because yelling at America in German? Priceless. I could barely type Apfelstrudel from loling, and I guess I'm lucky that other people share my weird sense of humor
Did he perhaps want to use whipped cream in bed? - I wanted to use Nutella here, but it wasn't really around as a big brand when I set this fic. And even if I'm the only person in the world who cares that the fic which may or may not be set in the fifties contains Nutella, I do care and it would have bugged me so no go
Other than that, crack pairing written solely to amuse myself.
Five times my world broke. Once I broke it - I think I was working on Kreuze and the bigass threesome and one more piece, plus the long suffering Eroica-crossover when I posted this... Written mostly to prove to myself that, hell, I can keep it short!
Discovered that writing Austria is kinda fun. Which lead to...
The beatiful blue... Elbe? - The fic where I completely messed up the timeline with a year (re when Merkel was elected) and then I had to do a clumsy rewrite and it almost killed my wish to finish the fic -_- But people left such wonderful comments at the kink meme that I became ashamed of myself and fixed it. The first version was eleganter, but whatever....
Prissy Austria is a joy to write and here my headcanon fidgety Prussia comes out to play
Btw - this is not supposed to be a pairing, though I understand why people can see it as such. It also seems to be popular, which surprised me. In a nice way :)
Three crosses in the time of war - The two Iron Crosses and the Red Cross, of course. First of the Eurovision fillsand I still have one left to write, I'm sooooo sorryyyy for slowness.
I like using third-POV characters so here we get pissed off Switzerland.
Of beer, brothers and bathtubs - For once, a title I actually like. I got the prompt - beer and tubs - and I knew exactly what to write about. Story pretty much typed itself, I wish it was always that easy
Look, we were in a hurry, ok? - Hurrhurr, GerItaIta-threesome crack. Also fun to write, though I almost needed a flowchart to remember who wore what. Prussia sneaks in at the end though he was not planned to be in this fic at all. wtf self?
Die Kreuze auf dem Kissen - I would love this title, except I blatantly stole it from Rammstein.
I wanted to write something dark and twisted for this fic. The prompt that I saw on the kink meme interested me a lot and I was so happy when I saw the other fill. Unfortunately, there was one of my biggest dislikes in Germancest fic, namely random japanese in it :/
Okay, thinks Smart Me, there was a Rammstein prompt too, so write a fic for this prompt but post it for the other and you won't look like a damn doublefilling bastard! Yay... only then I didn't find the friggin first request. So Kreuze went beneath the original prompt anyway, because by then it had already taken on severe proportions.
I really liked parts of this fic while writing it, HATED the entire end because it was so rushed (I could kind of live with it when it went out to my betas though) and now I'm probably burnt out on it a bit, because last I looked every word seemed so clunky and gah.
Now you'll get a word for word description of the lyrics because even if nobody else cares, I think I might in a couple of years
Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen / Do you want to see the bed aflame
wollt ihr in Haut und Haaren untergehen / do you want to perish skin and hair
This is why they're always "burning" with desire and shit. I only realized when I finished that they barely get to bed, but whatever
I considered for a short while use of a branding iron, but that squicked even me out
Also note, in german ihr is the plural you. This affects my interpretation of the song, so now you get to know it too :)
ihr wollt doch auch den Dolch ins Laken stecken / you also to stick the dagger in the sheets
ihr wollt doch auch das Blut vom Degen lecken / you also want to lick the blood from the sword
This is the sword-through-the-hand scene. Yes. No wussy sheets here...
I like that scene a lot, actually, because to me the whole idea of a sword through your hand is just *shivers* I find it scarier than the skinning that comes later on, perhaps because I can almost imagine it, somehow? Also, I have read CLAMP's X and, yeah. that shows, huh?
It's also the big turning point of the fic, especially in the version posted at the anon meme. Prussia ain't a nice big brother at all.
Ihr seht die Kreuze auf dem Kissen / You see the crosses on the pillow
The title, whee! And the final scene, added in panic because I realized I had forgotten to explain that line ^^;;
Ihr meint euch darf die Unschuld küssen / You think the innocence(innocent) is allowed to kiss you
Basically, what Germany thinks he wants from Prussia but doesn't get. Because, and here's the dealbreaker, none of them have been innocent for a long long time.
Ihr glaubt zu töten wäre schwer / You believe it would be hard to kill
Doch wo kommen all die Toten her / But where are all of the dead coming from
This is a bit more abstract, but it hits a nerve in how I see the Hetalia characters.
Because they're all so damn nice and at the same time, they must have seen so much death. In the case of Germany they must also have caused so much death, not only of humans but of other nations too... And if not death, then a definite lowering in status
So, I guess I consider them all slightly psychopatic if viewed through a human reference frame?
Sex ist ein Schlacht / Sex is a battle
Liebe ist Krieg / Love is war
Why hello there, this fic's interpretation of Prussia. I generally think he's pretty violent - we haven't seen that much of it in the strips with him except very jokingly, but his character description clearly says he was born to make war and I decided to twist that idea alittle bit lot.
Here's the song Prussia was listening to when Germany fails to confess his love for him:
"Asche zu Asche / Ashes to Ashes"
Warm body
hot cross
wrong judgment
cold grave
This is Germany during the Cuba-scene:
"Ohne dich / without you"
Without you I cannot be
Without you
With you I am alone too
...read the rest at Herzeleid
I did actually not try to include anything from the gay, gay oh so gay Buck dich (because amusing as the scene show is, the song is blah) nor from You smell so good though the images are startlingly similar here and there.
Er. Other than that, I have thought too much of this fic the last weeks. It was difficult and intense to write, but also really fun in a weird way to just push and break all limits.
I also wanted to write something really extreme that was completely consensual because while rape fantasy can be fun, I wanted to try something different. I hope I managed that, but it was difficult sometimes to portray it as I wanted without losing sight of bastard!dom!Prussia
Also, I got so many comments to the line of "omfg, what did I just read and why did I like it?" that I'm pretty proud of my ability to string a reader along and kick them in the heart. This sounds a lot meaner than it is intended... because I have read so many fics like that, and they usually tend to be memorable. I hope it goes for this fic too and I don't just mean in the "oh gawd, that one where Prussia skins Germany's back! aargh my eyes"
And it was hell to post and find a good way to break scenes!
Lastly, Kreuze is the fic that once and for all convinced me that a good beta is worth gold. Because HOLY HELL the errors I missed? And the things that flowed so much smoother after I followed their recommendations? So many important details!
Of orders and upheavals - I love writing fav characters from someone elses POV. I also hate writing living people or people who have been alive so recently they're still not "mythologized". This makes it tricky to write about how Germany's government sees him, so it became very impersonal... but the idea is another snippet direclty from my headcanon.
Now it's time to go to bed. Goodnight wordy mcworderson self!
There is that meme-ish thing around, which basically goes that if people want to ask about my headcanon or how I view characters/pairings, they can. So, if anyone is interested... go for it!
Let's start from the beginning:
En svensk tiger - First Hetalia fic! I don't dare re-read this any more...
My country and my favorite country and a very dark period of history.
I'd like to go back and play with the concept of Sweden & Germany interacting a bit more, but later. Also, I am ashamed of how the WWII period has been treated by Sweden afterwards. Very little admittance of guilt and too glossed over in school, tsk
Drunken romp in the sauna - I first started reading hetalia fic because the hell, my country and Finland having sexxors? Must see! Then I wrote this and then... my interest in the pairing kinda fizzled and died. I think they're just too schmoopy to interest me much. But I do want to see Sweden and Denmark interact, or Finland versus Russia!
More than a brick - I have a HUGE kink for Germany (the RL country) and Berlin in particular. Love the language too, in case that isn't already obvious. So when I discovered Germancest and that I friggin loved Germancest too, I had to write something about this pivotal moment in history. Herein also starts my obsession with the Iron crosses they wear, yeah.
I also still try to write my fics all in english here, which, hahalolz I fail at soon. And, moar pr0n! I don't know what happened when I entered Hetalia fandom, except a couple of years had passed since last writing anything, but damn it was suddenly easy to start writing porn...
Also, this - "Ludwig Beilschmidt" - is a Moment of Deep Symbolism, but I don't think anyone ever got that but me ^^; Instead people picked up on all other things which often made me go "whoa, I wish I was that smart!"
Die Wende - Um. call this "duty fic" because I realized that I couldn't write More than a brick to fit the prompt.
I don't really like it much, because I want Gilbo to stay alive -_- Also, the title is So Uncreative even for my standards.
So, this is probably my least favorite fic (that I have unanoned for *cough*)
New skies... - 1) I hate the title of this fic. Hate.
2) NATIONS IN SPAAAAACE. god knows why I wrote it, because I usually don't read much far-from-canon AU but... it was so fun <3 I'm surprised people actually seemed to enjoy reading it too
3) Damn, I should really write the sequel snippet I have in my head
4) This fic here, is where the Awesome!Gilbo plotbunny came and bit me hard because since them he insists on being in everything I write. He was just supposed to be an aside, darnit
The flesh of my brother - Dr. Calvin goes all out and loses several ficwriting virginites at once! this is my first fic of this degree of explicitness, first fic with rimming, first fic where I seriously feared to be flamed for writing pervy incest... Not my first fic with BDSM, no, because I'm a sick little puppy since way back
Also, this fic cemented my deep love for bottom!Prussia. At least with Germany
Biste nicht ganz dicht? - Oh Em Gee. I have never had as much fun writing a fic before or after, because yelling at America in German? Priceless. I could barely type Apfelstrudel from loling, and I guess I'm lucky that other people share my weird sense of humor
Did he perhaps want to use whipped cream in bed? - I wanted to use Nutella here, but it wasn't really around as a big brand when I set this fic. And even if I'm the only person in the world who cares that the fic which may or may not be set in the fifties contains Nutella, I do care and it would have bugged me so no go
Other than that, crack pairing written solely to amuse myself.
Five times my world broke. Once I broke it - I think I was working on Kreuze and the bigass threesome and one more piece, plus the long suffering Eroica-crossover when I posted this... Written mostly to prove to myself that, hell, I can keep it short!
Discovered that writing Austria is kinda fun. Which lead to...
The beatiful blue... Elbe? - The fic where I completely messed up the timeline with a year (re when Merkel was elected) and then I had to do a clumsy rewrite and it almost killed my wish to finish the fic -_- But people left such wonderful comments at the kink meme that I became ashamed of myself and fixed it. The first version was eleganter, but whatever....
Prissy Austria is a joy to write and here my headcanon fidgety Prussia comes out to play
Btw - this is not supposed to be a pairing, though I understand why people can see it as such. It also seems to be popular, which surprised me. In a nice way :)
Three crosses in the time of war - The two Iron Crosses and the Red Cross, of course. First of the Eurovision fills
I like using third-POV characters so here we get pissed off Switzerland.
Of beer, brothers and bathtubs - For once, a title I actually like. I got the prompt - beer and tubs - and I knew exactly what to write about. Story pretty much typed itself, I wish it was always that easy
Look, we were in a hurry, ok? - Hurrhurr, GerItaIta-threesome crack. Also fun to write, though I almost needed a flowchart to remember who wore what. Prussia sneaks in at the end though he was not planned to be in this fic at all. wtf self?
Die Kreuze auf dem Kissen - I would love this title, except I blatantly stole it from Rammstein.
I wanted to write something dark and twisted for this fic. The prompt that I saw on the kink meme interested me a lot and I was so happy when I saw the other fill. Unfortunately, there was one of my biggest dislikes in Germancest fic, namely random japanese in it :/
Okay, thinks Smart Me, there was a Rammstein prompt too, so write a fic for this prompt but post it for the other and you won't look like a damn doublefilling bastard! Yay... only then I didn't find the friggin first request. So Kreuze went beneath the original prompt anyway, because by then it had already taken on severe proportions.
I really liked parts of this fic while writing it, HATED the entire end because it was so rushed (I could kind of live with it when it went out to my betas though) and now I'm probably burnt out on it a bit, because last I looked every word seemed so clunky and gah.
Now you'll get a word for word description of the lyrics because even if nobody else cares, I think I might in a couple of years
Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen / Do you want to see the bed aflame
wollt ihr in Haut und Haaren untergehen / do you want to perish skin and hair
This is why they're always "burning" with desire and shit. I only realized when I finished that they barely get to bed, but whatever
Also note, in german ihr is the plural you. This affects my interpretation of the song, so now you get to know it too :)
ihr wollt doch auch den Dolch ins Laken stecken / you also to stick the dagger in the sheets
ihr wollt doch auch das Blut vom Degen lecken / you also want to lick the blood from the sword
This is the sword-through-the-hand scene. Yes. No wussy sheets here...
I like that scene a lot, actually, because to me the whole idea of a sword through your hand is just *shivers* I find it scarier than the skinning that comes later on, perhaps because I can almost imagine it, somehow? Also, I have read CLAMP's X and, yeah. that shows, huh?
It's also the big turning point of the fic, especially in the version posted at the anon meme. Prussia ain't a nice big brother at all.
Ihr seht die Kreuze auf dem Kissen / You see the crosses on the pillow
The title, whee! And the final scene, added in panic because I realized I had forgotten to explain that line ^^;;
Ihr meint euch darf die Unschuld küssen / You think the innocence(innocent) is allowed to kiss you
Basically, what Germany thinks he wants from Prussia but doesn't get. Because, and here's the dealbreaker, none of them have been innocent for a long long time.
Ihr glaubt zu töten wäre schwer / You believe it would be hard to kill
Doch wo kommen all die Toten her / But where are all of the dead coming from
This is a bit more abstract, but it hits a nerve in how I see the Hetalia characters.
Because they're all so damn nice and at the same time, they must have seen so much death. In the case of Germany they must also have caused so much death, not only of humans but of other nations too... And if not death, then a definite lowering in status
So, I guess I consider them all slightly psychopatic if viewed through a human reference frame?
Sex ist ein Schlacht / Sex is a battle
Liebe ist Krieg / Love is war
Why hello there, this fic's interpretation of Prussia. I generally think he's pretty violent - we haven't seen that much of it in the strips with him except very jokingly, but his character description clearly says he was born to make war and I decided to twist that idea a
Here's the song Prussia was listening to when Germany fails to confess his love for him:
"Asche zu Asche / Ashes to Ashes"
Warm body
hot cross
wrong judgment
cold grave
This is Germany during the Cuba-scene:
"Ohne dich / without you"
Without you I cannot be
Without you
With you I am alone too
...read the rest at Herzeleid
I did actually not try to include anything from the gay, gay oh so gay Buck dich (because amusing as the scene show is, the song is blah) nor from You smell so good though the images are startlingly similar here and there.
Er. Other than that, I have thought too much of this fic the last weeks. It was difficult and intense to write, but also really fun in a weird way to just push and break all limits.
I also wanted to write something really extreme that was completely consensual because while rape fantasy can be fun, I wanted to try something different. I hope I managed that, but it was difficult sometimes to portray it as I wanted without losing sight of bastard!dom!Prussia
Also, I got so many comments to the line of "omfg, what did I just read and why did I like it?" that I'm pretty proud of my ability to string a reader along and kick them in the heart. This sounds a lot meaner than it is intended... because I have read so many fics like that, and they usually tend to be memorable. I hope it goes for this fic too and I don't just mean in the "oh gawd, that one where Prussia skins Germany's back! aargh my eyes"
And it was hell to post and find a good way to break scenes!
Lastly, Kreuze is the fic that once and for all convinced me that a good beta is worth gold. Because HOLY HELL the errors I missed? And the things that flowed so much smoother after I followed their recommendations? So many important details!
Of orders and upheavals - I love writing fav characters from someone elses POV. I also hate writing living people or people who have been alive so recently they're still not "mythologized". This makes it tricky to write about how Germany's government sees him, so it became very impersonal... but the idea is another snippet direclty from my headcanon.
Now it's time to go to bed. Goodnight wordy mcworderson self!
There is that meme-ish thing around, which basically goes that if people want to ask about my headcanon or how I view characters/pairings, they can. So, if anyone is interested... go for it!
Long overdue comment on Kreuze
1. First and foremost: you managed to turn a rather bland prompt into something very, very interesting and well executed.
2. Characterization: A+++. The thing is, even though most of it was from Germany's point of view, somehow I got the feeling you managed Prussia a lot better, and in fewer words. I don't know, Germany seems a bit harder to pin down in writing (at least for me), but Prussia came off a lot more naturally throughout the entire fic. As for Germany - I loved the way you handled the whole becoming-slightly-unhinged process. There's a gradation to it that's quite fascinating to observe. That was the thing that first caught my interest back at the kink meme. I don't really read long fills unless they make me want to go F5F5F5F5 uncontrollably.
(To be entirely honest, I actually fell in love with your characterization of them when I first read The Flesh Of My Brother)
3. I like the fact that you're not afraid to go past certain... limits? I don't know what to call them exactly, but I think the word 'taboo' fits the most, however weird it might sound. I don't just mean the violence part, which was quite uhh, mesmerizing to follow, at some point. But I think most writers would chicken out from what you managed (points of relatively morbid interest in my case: Prussia's transformation, from the hand-stabbing to "Little brother, sweet little brother, I love you so much"; Germany's submission; and the skinning, which is going to stay with me for a while) If you were afraid of getting flamed for The Flesh Of My Brother, well then, I was honestly expecting some flames on this.
4. I'd love to see you write more Cuba ♥
5. The only thing that sounded a bit off to me was Prussia's 'drunk-speech'. I don't know, this is probably just me, so don't take it for granted. I haven't heard a lot of hammered people talk recently, so it's not like I'm an expert on the whole thing. But that particular fragment was a bit difficult to go through because of it.
About that Rammstein-related request - I remember something, but I'm pretty sure it was for either Russia/Prussia or Russia/Germany with 'Moskau'? Unless there's another request I missed. That aside, nice choice of title
in the crack part of my head-canon, Gilbert's a total Rammstein fanOh, and by the way, the Biste nicht ganz dicht? in your post links to The flesh of my brother.
Re: Long overdue comment on Kreuze
2. Yes, I think you're right there. Germany is easy to write, but bloody impossible to write well. He doesn't act out many feelings except awkardness and anger so he's a very distant character in most of canon. Passionate figures, like Prussia, are easier to write more-or-less correctly.
Also, it is more difficult to write someone from inside their own heads :/ One of my betas suggested that I show Prussia's emotional POV in the end and I just couldn't do that, impossible to get into his head at that moment
3. Limits? *opens dictionary* I'm sure I've seen that word here somewhere =D
Actually, I'm still waiting for the flames about Kreuze. When I woke up the morning after I posted the end at the kink-meme, where all the warning before the bloody part was "prussia is a sick puppy" I went OMFG my screen will scorch me alive! But no go, perhaps Hetalia fandom is more mature than I'm used to?
But it's not a fic I see myself ever posting at ff.net, if we put it like that
4. Oh god, Cuba -_- So hard to write! And his speech! But otoh he was such a logical choice that I had to struggle trough it. Glad he worked for you
5. Mhmmyep. I wasn't certain of that either, but I wanted to show Prussia broken and really down in the dumps. I dunno. It's posted now, but I should've done some more research on good drunkspeech I think... though having him talk perfectly would also have been weird. Ah, dilemma
Aha? Russia and Rammstein? It might explain why I missed it, though I did search the delicious-tags and the older parts of the meme for the words Rammstein.
In my head, Gilbert is very proud of Rammstein and approves of their manly music. But when he's moping around at home alone, it's 50/50 that Tokio Hotel is playing